


Waking Up In Vegas (Revamp)

by cupidty11



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Dib is confused and intriqued, Dib's over 18 here, Drunken Mistakes, Eloping, Gen, Las Vegas, M/M, Other, Probably early 20s, Re writing, Shifting perspectives, Temporary Character Death, Zim wears a dress and looks pretty hot, but not really, people die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 06:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8479417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupidty11/pseuds/cupidty11
Summary: On the cusp of a traumatizing night, Dib rides in a cab in the middle of Vegas towards a mystery destination. He decides to tell his driver all about what happened.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this originally in 2011. I was 14. As you can guess, I no longer really like the original. But, people keep reading it. So, I kind of went back and edited the fuck out of it so that I'm no longer deeply ashamed of it. Please, read this one instead.

Let's just say Vegas was a little bright for Dib and call it good.

The flashing lights and the huge crowds made him cringe against the backseat of the cab interior.His nails digging into the cheap faux leather.

"Yo, Kid. You okay?" A gruff voice asked, filled with casual concern. Dib blinked, torn out of his musings and back into the terrible taxi that was drowning in the smell of cigarette smoke.

A quick glance had told Dib all he really needed to know about his driver. He was tall, skinny with aviators and a bad haircut, messy facial hair and a terrible smoking habit. His name was Bill, if the little card taped to the car’s windshield was true. The last name was smudged and faded. The card looked pretty old. Probably a high school dropout, married and divorced, no kids to speak of. So, now he made a meager amount of money carting around drunken morons in Vegas.

Dib felt a sharp pain shoot through his skull, a headache for the ages. Answering the cabby’s question would probably be a good thing. Less sitting here stewing in his own bullshit. Bullshit that made no sense...not even to himself, let alone some random taxi driver. Dib cleared his throat as it threatened to crack.

"I'm perfect. Just completely peachy." The reply was heavy with sarcasm. Shaky sarcasm but, still effective. It got across his point that he was by any means not fine. And that he didn’t really want to talk about it.

They pulled to a sudden stop at a light and his stomach lurched up into his throat. It was the drug. Still in his system. Slowing his bodily functions and keeping his mind fuzzy. He knew the horror of what he’d been through would sink in sooner rather than later once it wore off.

He stared at his hands, realizing that, yeah. They were covered in...blood. Of course, it's not like anyone would ever know that since it wasn’t bright red human blood.

The man in the driver's seat raised a sloppy eyebrow. "Uh huh. Well, lemme tell ya, you look like shit.”

Dib frowned and looked out the window once more, fighting the urge to squint against the flashy...everything. And failing.

“Thanks, random stranger.” His words were kind of slurring. Like he was drunk or high off his ass.

Bill took another drag of his cigarette, thinking. When he’d called the person in his car, ‘a kid’, he hadn’t been kidding. He looked like he couldn’t be over 18. But, then again everyone seemed pretty young in comparison to himself. Dib looked down at his watch and remembered that it was gone. So, he estimated.

Ten minutes. Only ten minutes he’d been in this stupid car.

"Look Kid, you’re paying for a pretty long trip.” About four hours to the distant outskirts of town. Bill had no idea why this guy wanted to go there but, he did his best not to ask too many questions, despite his own nosy nature. “I’m not gonna keep buggin’ ya if you really don’t wanna share...well, whatever it is that’s wrong.” And it was obviously something. “But, I’m an open, unbiased ear. Plus, the radio is broken.”

Bill smirked a bit. At Dib's questioning look, he shrugged. "I'm a cab driver. We're like bartenders, except without the free beer. We get a lot of people and you begin to pick up on that kind of stuff.”

Bill fit an arm over the passenger's seat, dragging at the cigarette. His eyes flashed back to the kid, whose was kind of turning green. He heaved a sigh and reluctantly put out the bud in his ash tray, already filled to the brim. Dib swallowed down bile. His throat felt so dry.

“B-because you’ll think I’m crazy and kick me out.” He had no desire to wander around the hellish landscape that was Nevada.

“‘Ey now. I’m a taxi driver in one of the busiest cities in the world. The city’s whose big motto is ‘what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’. I’ve heard some pretty bizarre shit.” His fingers already ached for another cigarette but, he just held firm to the steering wheel. Bill was trying to quit anyway. Key word: trying.

Dib mulled that over for a second, although thinking was very hard to do right now. It was probably the drugs that made it seem like even a little bit of a good idea. His logical mind said to just keep his mouth shut, to suffer this four hour drive in silence. But, the idea of having nothing but his thoughts to keep him busy...his stomach gurgled uncomfortably.

Besides...it couldn’t help to just...talk about it out loud. Get it straightened out in his own mind. How all of this had happened so quickly.

"Alright…um?" Dib began, noting how the driver smiled a bit.

Honestly, he should’ve been creeped out by this guy. Some random taxi guy wanting to know about him. But, Bill...seemed okay. Just a normal guy who exuded a genuine kindness and concern. Dib didn’t trust easily and while he wasn’t exactly ready to just spill his entire sad, pathetic tale to a stranger...maybe just talk would be okay.

Where did he even start? His hesitance must’ve shown because the driver, tilted his head.

"Bill. My name's Bill. And yours?"

Dib shuffled in his seat a little, debating whether to tell the truth or not. He sighed and relented.

"Dib."

Bill nodded, thinking it over. "Nice name. Kind of unusual. Not one I have ever heard before."

The way the man said it made it not seem like a bad thing, but a bizarre sort of compliment. Perhaps because he had met so many people before.

"Yeah. It's pretty weird, I guess. But, in my home town, lots of people have strange names."

Bill looked up in the rear view mirror, with interest. "Is that so?"

Dib nodded, a little unenthusiastic. "For example; The Letter M, Zita, Keef, Moofy...” He hesitated a second before saying the name. “, Zim.”  Dib’s jaw tightened against a sudden onslaught of emotion.

"Zim? Sounds important. They’re part of it, then?" Whatever was bothering the boy so much.

Dib swallowed, and leaned back, closing his eyes. He nodded, wondered if Bill would even see him nod, then said, “Yeah. A huge part of it.”

Silence passed between them for a second. Dib’s head swam, he tried to ignore how....how fucking awful he felt. It wasn’t just his head and stomach...but his chest. It felt too tight, he wanted to just lie down and never get up again.

“I’m listening.” Bill reminded, voice quieter than it had been before.

That was all that Dib needed to hear.


	2. Chapter 2

How did he start?

It wouldn't make much sense if he didn't tell Bill…well everything. But, ‘everything’ was a pretty tall order.

Dib supposed that the easiest place to start would be just explaining Zim.

"Well, Zim was…a lot of things. A moron with a god complex and filled with a desperate need to please his…" Dib sighed, not wanting to say Tallest. “Leaders. Short and annoying. He hated this world, just the same way he hated me. I have a feeling he even hated himself, although he hid behind everything with his enormous ego."

Dib looked out the window, dust blowing, mixing with the wrappers on the filthy streets of Vegas. "His leaders, his people thought he was a Defect. Basically, a worthless piece of trash." Bill turned on the windshield wipers to clear it of the choking dust. "But, Zim was so much more than that. He was a genius when he tried. Lithe, running faster than anyone in our skool even with those tiny legs of his. He was…my greatest enemy. Possibly my only friend, which is really sad considering he would try to kill me when the opportunity arose. But, I did the exact same thing. We’ve been enemies ever since I can remember. It seemed like it would never end. This little cycle that we ended up creating. He would do something to piss me off or create a 'Master Plan'. I would fight back, with my own plan. We would wrestle, the struggles becoming more and more violent as time went on. Neither of us would win, and we slowly came to accept that we were equals."

The words came out with a trace of bitterness. Equals. It was funny now. Dib sighed, rubbing his temples. “Then physical fights became less common until they were non existent. We had a routine. Even after high school and...everything. We kept it up, the charade of our hatred. Until a few days ago.”

Dib’s stomach was still rolling but, less so now. "Everything was going the way it did normally. Or how it was supposed to. When I hacked into his database to check up on anything stupid he was planning, I saw that he'd drawn up plans for the best course to…Las Vegas. I was confused at first, thinking maybe it was his idea of a vacation, or more observing the humans and their filthy customs'." He shook his head, tapping on the window. "I clicked on another folder next to it and found…these blue prints. It was these creepy looking, test tubes with some unidentifiable substance inside. A machine with all sorts of tiny, complicated writing along the sides of it. The worst part was that it was in Meekrob. A language I have yet to study."

"I remember running over there to confront him and finding the dummy gone. He'd flown in the Voot. I used Tak's ship to go after him. I packed a few days change of clothes, the money I had and yelled at Gaz that I was leaving. Gaz is my sister."

Dib said, explaining the one thing that Bill probably could’ve guessed instead of the Voot, Tak's ship, or ‘Meekrobs’.

"The lights…they were overwhelming. I landed my ship next to Zim's who I had tracked to the outskirts. Grabbing my bag…I jogged into the huge town."

Bill was trying his best to take everything in, to make sense of the words the kid said. He shook his head, thinking he should go back to skool if a kid could say words that flew right over his grasp.

Or maybe Dib was just crazy. Either way, Bill was lost.

"That's when I saw him…looking as confused as I was by the sheer grandeur. The only difference was that I was hiding it better than he was...”

* * *

 

 Dib rushed over to the Invader who was standing on the curb dumbstruck at the brilliant colors.

The human growled, and sneaked an arm around his chest, causing the alien to freak out.

"Unhand me, filthy life form! I will scream that word, that causes all humans to come running!" Zim threatened, trying to claw himself free.

"Zim, it's—"

"FIRE! CREPE!" Zim screamed, jerking about so much, Dib almost lost his hold.

"Dang it, Zim! It's Rape not crêpe, and it's m—"

"Thank you. RAPE!"

Dib placed a hand over Zim's mouth. This was a huge mistake and he should've known it. Zim chomped down with his razor sharp teeth. They sunk into Dib's unprotected fingers like a knife through butter.

"Ouch! Fu—!" Dib yelled, cursing a blue streak, shoving Zim away from him and to the dirty ground.

Zim squealed, jumping upright and brushing himself off the best he could. Germs…hideous germs all over his perfect body. He shuddered, disgusted. Zim turned to look at the one who had attacked him. Who after a minute he FINALLY recognized with a glare.

"Dib-Monkey! You followed me." He crossed his arms, and looked on with one eye narrowed and the other huge.

Dib winced, wrapping his hand with some gauze he had in his bag. Upon hearing the words he rolled his eyes, and straightened ignoring his own freak out not a few seconds ago.

"I did, Space-Boy. I had to. Who knows what you're planning?"

Zim was silent, the only sound the buzzing people, cars honking and noises of suffering. Then he was laughing, in that creepy but, infectious way of his.

"Oh, oh…"He wiped a fake tear away. "You'll never know Zim's amazingly brilliant plan!" Dib opened his mouth to retort, but the alien wasn't through talking. "Never know how I plan to find a meekrobian chemical designed to increase machine advancement! Could never imagine with your tiny brain, that I might plan on using it to make my Pak better and greater and the most amazing pak that has ever existed! And rule the earth with an iron fist made by this machine. Oh no! You'll be clueless and absolutely naive as to my brilliant plan!”

Zim laughed louder and louder.

Dib just watched him, finishing wrapping his hand up. Was Zim really that stupid? He shook his head, answering his own question.

Yes, yes he was.

“Okay so. 1. You just told me your entire plan. And 2. How do you know this chemical will do anything like that? Sounds pretty stupid, if you ask me.”

Dib said, tilting his head to the side watching the almost audible lights bounce of Zim's green skin. It was strangely hypnotic. The alien however didn't seem to care.

* * *

 

 Bill slammed on the breaks a coyote running by, with a cub in it's mouth, stopping to stare at the stupid vehicle with yellow eyes before disappearing.

Dib watched them run away, into the darkening rough landscape of dirt and cacti, painted orange by the sunset.


	3. Chapter 3

"Sorry. Stupid coyotes this time of year. They're everywhere." Bill said gruffly, running a hand down his neck.

Dib blinked, and his body shook all over. The drugs were wearing off. "I-It's fine.”

"So then what happened? Did you stop him?" Dib shook his head, remembering more and more.

"We argued for another hour on the street corner before these two drunk guys tried to start something with us. We ran, watching each other with wary eyes. Then when we were almost mugged…we decided to make an unofficial truce to at least last us until we were safe again. Then all bets were off."

Dib smiled to himself a bit. Heh. Gambling pun.

"Zim found us a hotel, and when I say found it, I mean pointed at one and decided we would stay there. Of course it was one of the more expensive ones….luckily my dad is kind of rich. I had enough money to buy us a couple days stay."

Bill took a long drag from a bottle of water, opening a small cooler and offered Dib one. The teen took it with a small thank you.

"Turns out Zim had his reasons for wanting to stay there. Once we walked inside and I paid for everything I saw him peeking behind a fake plant at this really creepy,huge guy with one of those handlebar mustaches, giant muscles and women on each arm. I scooted next to Zim and poked him, meaning to be stealthy and ask him what was going on. Instead, the irken had a major freak out, because of course...”

* * *

 

 "Jeeze Zim! What the hell!?"

Dib grabbed at the alien's hands, knowing he was going to get new bruises. When Zim recognized who it was he ceased his panicking and yanked his hands from the human's grip.

"Dib-smell, be quiet." Before turning back to watching the creepy guy.

"Me? But, you just screamed like a maniac!" Dib barked, scrutinizing the man. Curiosity welled up. Why were they spying on this guy? He was walking away with several giggling women. Behind the man, several bigger, burly guys followed. Body guards. Huh.

"And you’re ranting like a—uh---maniac-y drool pig!" Zim nodded, happy with his superior comeback.

Dib looked at the alien,unimpressed. "So, why were yo-"

"Spying on that man?" Zim finished, crawling out from behind the plastic fern. Dib looked nonplussed, climbing out with more difficulty.

"Well, yeah."

"Because he has the chemicals!"

“But, he's a human. How does he have access to that kind of technology?" Dib asked, dusting himself off. Zim laughed, shaking his head.

"Oh you poor pitiful fool. That is no human. It is an alien in disguise, like me. Except his is worse obviously."

Dib snorted, and crossed his arms. "Uh huh. Look Zim…your idea is stupid. This whole thing is stupid. But,” he hesitated. “I don’t like the whole idea of this chemical if it actually does what you say it does. So, I might be willing to help you.”

Zim sniffed indignantly. "Help? From you?! Why on Irk would the great Almighty Zim need your help?!"

"Because, that guy had a ton of guards and you don't know a lot about Vegas."

"And you do?!"

"More than you. Now come on, it would be just until we got the chemicals and then it's every man, or alien, for themselves."

Zim considered for a moment, tapping his chin. "Fine! But, you have to listen when I tell you to do things!"

Dib rolled his eyes and nodded sarcastically, having no real intention on listening to anything Zim said.

* * *

 

 Dib went quiet remembering that night, taking a huge swig from his water bottle.

"Then what?" Bill asked, taking off his aviators to see better as they drove further from the blinding lights of the city.

"Well…I helped him. We went all around the hotel and observed the man. He was a real 'ladies man'. Or at least his money was. We found out his name, or at least his alias was Julio, from his business card he handed out. Eventually, he stopped at a blackjack table. Zim became curious as to what the game was and I told him."

Dib shook his head.

"Never should've done that. He took it as a challenge and nearly cleaned me out, trying to win. He failed…over and over again. But, he was Zim and wasn't discouraged. He kept trying even as I told him to stop. The funny thing was I kept handing him the money. He learned with each failure and actually began to win. And win and win."

"I went to the bathroom for like five minutes and came back to find that he'd moved on to other games. I followed him around. A waitress offered me a few drinks. Not that I really tend to drink a lot. I don’t know. It was just...Vegas, I guess. And I was having fun. It was stupid but...” He shrugged. “Zim just stole a drink off the tray, sneakily. I drank mine okay. I’m not super fond of the taste but, after a while its okay. Zim on the other hand, he must've expected like soda or something because his face screwed up at the bitter taste. But, after I laughed at him he glared and drank it just to prove that he could."

Dib swallowed, rubbing his temples. It was silent in the cab, the tension radiating off of Dib palpable.

That night…was such a blur. So loud and bright. He could remember bits and pieces. But, it didn’t feel real. Just foggy flashes. Them laughing together, playing all the games, winning and losing, drinking, talking about stupid stuff, their faces close together. Zim pulling on his arm, leading him somewhere and Dib following without any kind of desire to resist.

"I take it from your silence that something bad happened after that." Bill murmured. Dib shook his head.

"No…actually. It was one of the best nights of my life…I just, I don't even remember half of it. Just the next morning.”

* * *

 

 

 Dib's entire body ached; even his eyes. He didn't want to move but his nose itched. Reluctantly he lifted his arm. Or at least tried to. It was being held down by something. He groaned and squinted one eye open, hissed and closed them again. Too bright…

Zim grumbled, stretching lazily. He was comfortable except for the lump below his back. He opened his eyes and glared at the lights that seemed determined to blind him. He sat up cautiously, looking around the room, noticing the hazardous surroundings. A table was knocked over, empty candy wrappers, soda cans, a card deck strewn about.

He straightened his uniform because it was all bunched up from laying on the bed. Why was he on a bed?

A little groaning noise,had him jumping. Zim frowned and leaned forward, head tilting to the side. He extended one finger and poked the human's nose.

"Stop being lazy, stink-beast."

Dib frowned and swatted the hand away, wanting to just curl up and die. Then it caught up to him…the sound came from next to him. His amber eyes flew open and he shouted scrambling out of the bed. Though he immediately regretted the action when his stomach rolled violently.

"W-Why uh…why were we in bed together?" Dib squeaked, holding his hands to his belly. Zim shrugged and slid out much more gracefully.

"I don't know. Don't care. We were intoxicated by your strange human drinks."

Dib was shaking, panicking, trying unsuccessfully to remembering anything from the previous night. It at least boded well that neither of them were completely naked. Zim’s boots and gloves were gone and Dib was sans shirt and shoes. But, everything else seemed okay. So...luckily, nothing like THAT had happened. He let himself relax a bit. Still, his ears felt stupidly hot.

"Yeah…That's bad, Zim. When people get drunk who knows what could happen? Bad things happen. Your judgment is impaired and…and…Zim?" Dib asked concerned, watching the frozen Invader. Zim was holding his hand out in front of his. He spun and shoved the hand in Dib's face.

"Why am I wearing your stupid ring?" Dib’s eyes had to focus and unfocus to see the hand shoved so close to his face.

But, there it was. His class ring that he never took off, shining on the irken’s finger.


	4. Chapter 4

Dib rubbed his eyes, hoping to make the alien, his ring and the horrible, agonizing hangover disappear.

When he opened them again, none of his wishes came true but, that wasn't exactly a rare occurrence in his life.

"I-I don't know." Wasn't sure if he honestly wanted to know. Dib ran a hand down his face, trying to think of what had happened last night…a blur of color. Flashing neon, flowers of all kinds, lots and lots of alcohol. Heat…a low voice in his ear.

Zim hissed, obviously not happy with that answer at all. He tilted his head, eyes locked on the ring, wrapped around his finger.

It was really, really shiny in the hotel’s fluorescent lights.

Irken's had a weakness for shiny things.

That, and snacks, explosions, weapons and conquering. Well…maybe that was just him.

Zim couldn't remove his gaze from the metal loop, a memory trying to break its way through to him, through to his oh-so amazing brain. But what?

He closed his light jade lids and accessed his Pak’s databases. The computer on his back would've recorded all of last night's happenings.

Dib had fallen back on the bed, hands on his head and elbows on his knees. It was freaking Vegas…he should've known not to drink that much. It had just seemed so harmless…he shook his head, wincing when his brain punished thoroughly for it. This wasn't a vacation. This was a mission, damn it, and a mission involving his mortal enemy. Dib thought to himself, that it would suit him to remember that.

His eyes flashed to Zim to ask a question but, his mouth stayed open as he watched Zim stand stiller than he'd ever seen the invader, eyes closed and shoulder's relaxed.

"Um…Zim?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. Nothing came from the alien's mouth except for slow, even breaths. It was like he was sleeping? But, standing up. "Zim? Hello?" He stood slowly, stepping slowly towards the the irken. He waved a hand in front of Zim's face. "Zim!?" Was something wrong? What was going on? Dib leaned in even closer and snapped his fingers to try and knock Zim from this weird stupor thingy. Nothing. Not even a flinch. He grabbed the irken’s shoulders and tried to shake him a bit, hoping that would jar him awake.

Zim's eyes slid open lazily, still relaxed even as his shoulders had already begun to tense up, expecting the human to still be across the room. Then when his senses finally kicked in, warning him that the human was way too far into his bubble of space, Zim screeched and shoved his hands outwards, making the human fly backwards with a grunt to the floor.

"Back, idiot monkey boy! BACK!" Zim yelled still waving his arms about to ward off any other attacks. Dib glared and rubbed his backside.

"What the hell, Zim?" He growled, gritting his teeth. “I was just wondering what was the matter with you. You were like...sleeping standing up or something.”

Zim paused and crossed his arms, suddenly reminded of what he'd been doing not a few seconds before. "Serves you right for getting into my space." He sniffed, looking away. "But…before I punish you…" Zim sat primly, down on the bed. "I have a few questions. Not that I don't know or anything. I am merely curious of your opinion."

Dib shook his head, standing to lean against the maroon painted wall. His anger was forgotten easily, as always. "Okay…what is it?"

"This…chapel? They are for public occasions and celebrations, yes?"

"Uh…yeah.They use them for stuff like that I guess. Mostly weddings. Why?" He asked, running a finger across a velvet curtain. Instead of answering Zim asked another question.

"And these…weddings? They are flowery, bright, consisting of three people?" He tapped his chin, watching the human play with the drapes with just a little fascination. The pale finger, ran up and down. Up and down. Hypnotic. Disgusting. He looked away.

Dib glanced at Zim with suspicion. There was something dawning in his gut. A deep fear that he did his best to shove down because it was wrong. It obviously couldn’t be the truth.

"Sometimes. Depends who's getting married. There are usually only three people when someone 'elopes'."

"Oh." The invader said. "What occurs when one…antelopes?"

Dib smacked his forehead. But, the irken’s mistake was enough to distract him for just a second. He let himself smile, even if it was just small.

"It's El-opes Zim. Not antelopes."

Zim waved the correction away, magenta eyes demanding an answer now. Dib hesitated, unsure how to explain it.

"Well uh, the preacher, minister guy, he asks the couple a bunch of questions like, 'do you take this…blah for blah through sickness and health' stuff. The people getting married usually respond by saying, 'I do." He shrugged. "It's pretty simple. I guess. I mean weddings are…serious. Or they’re supposed to be, I guess. It’s like a commitment thing?”

Dib really had no idea. Just very basic knowledge.

Zim was quiet for a few seconds. "It sounds like complete and utter dookie."

Dib nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I guess. I don’t know. I’m sure it's nice for some people. But, I’ve never really had the true desire to get married? It all just seems so silly and a waste of time. Plus, the divorce rates are ridiculously high. So, like, what’s even the point?”

"Well that's too bad for you, Dib-thing." Zim shook his head in mock sympathy, magenta eyes dancing dangerously.

Dib quirked an eyebrow, the fear rising up again, threatening to choke him. "Why exactly?"

"Oh…because we're married. Congratulations Dib, you may kiss the broom." He held his arms out wide.

Dib hit the floor with a dull thud.

* * *

 

Dib sighed. "You can laugh. It is pretty funny. Although at the time I thought it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me."

Bill’s snorts graduated into wild hoots of laughter, clutching his stomach with one hand. Dib shook his head and rolled his eyes. When Bill finally sobered up enough so only a few soft chuckles ran through him, he took a sip from his water and glanced back at Dib in the rear view mirror.

"Okay so…what happened after that?"

"Well…after I woke up, or was shocked awake by being slapped, I flipped the fuck out. I don’t think that Zim really understood why I was so worried.”

"Why do you say that?" Bill asked, tapping his finger idly against the steering wheel, genuinely curious.

"Because he was already up, and thinking about how to get the stupid chemicals again! The jerk was plotting right in front of my quivering, spazzing body! He was stroking his chin, rubbing his hands together manically dreaming of destroying my world while I was having nightmares about coming home from my boring job and finding Zim in a pink apron with a burnt dinner waiting!"

"I'm uh…sorry." Bill apologized for making the boy upset. Despite the dark interior of the cab, each time he looked back at the kid, the more he observed. The old scars on his face. Dark circles under his eyes. Eyes that were dilated, speech slurred. There were some fresh scratches on his face. The suit he wore looked pretty expensive and it was splattered with what looked like paint.

"I-it's alright. I-I just…I tried calling my dad." He chuckled, and it sounded pained. "Zim smacked it out of my hands, yelling at me…"

* * *

 

 "Don't be a smeet, Dib-worm!" Zim demanded, claws firmly snatching at the human's wrists and holding them in his grip. "Do you remember anything from last night?" Zim asked, narrowing one eye, suspicious.

Dib grumbled and glared, trying to yank his wrists away. "No! And I don't really want to. Now let go of me, you menace!" He gave another hard tug.

Zim snorted and let go, sending Dib falling backwards. "There. I let go of you, smell." He laughed at his own joke, a little too loud.

Dib rolled his eyes and stood shakily. "Now, Dib there will be no calling of the parental units as long as we have this 'deal'. You must remember all that you said to me last night…even for you…it was good advice I think."

Dib was deeply unimpressed. "Oh? And what was this amazing advice that I gave you in my alcohol soaked state that spoke so deeply to a moron like yourself?"

Zim ignored the moron part in favor of being able to rant. "To and I quote 'put my money where my mouth is.' At first I believed you to be even more insane…telling me to eat my monies." He chuckled, remembering the drunken Dib-thing. So pathetic. "Then…I understood. I didn't need to eat my monies…I needed to use it to help me conquer the Earth!"

Dib sighed and shook his head. “Yeaaah. I don’t think that’s what that even means. And also, I was drunk.” He picked his phone up again. “So, I’m still going to call my dad.”

The irken hissed and grabbed the phone again, tossing it against the wall, where it embedded itself in the drywall. Dib watched it go without any reaction.

“You know I’m going to have to pay for that.”

“We made a truce! You can call your father when we have the chemicals! But, right now we are wasting precious time!” Dib sighed, giving up for the moment.

Zim took the sigh as the surrender that it was. He smirked one of those sly, disturbing and yet altogether charming grin that beckoned you to do whatever it was he wanted you to do even if it ended up destroying you and everyone around you.

"Now…I have a plan."

Dib listened with mild trepidation, interrupting on several occasions to poke holes in the plot. Because like every other Amazing Zim Idea™ it didn’t have all that much substance to it.

But, Dib figured that between the two of them, they could pull it off.


	5. Chapter 5

"What did you do? Did you follow his plan?" The question was out of his mouth, out of his hands and in the air before he could stop himself.

Dib scoffed, amber eyes glued to the window, looking out at the passing landscape but not seeing any of it. "I had to didn't I? To get to those stupid chemicals." Licking his lips, Dib took a large gulp from his water bottle, mouth suddenly dry.

"I got dressed in the tuxedo I found lying on the ground. I assumed it was the one I'd worn at," It took a another swig of water and much gritting of the teeth to say the next few words, "our wedding, then went down stairs to the check-in desk. Using my charm," Sarcasm rolled off Dib's tongue, "and a few hundred bucks, I found out where Julio, the alien with the chemicals was staying and his plans for the night. Zim had told me to stay down stairs, and wait while he put on his brilliant disguise. I was rightfully skeptical of its brilliance."

"I was standing in the middle of the stupid check in room, waiting at the bottom of the stairs for the moronic alien to get his ass down there so I could tell him all I'd found…" Dib laid his head in his hands and sighed the sigh of an eighty year old man. 

* * *

 

Dib was hitting his head numerous times on the corner of the wall out of pure boredom. And perhaps some kind of self punishment for all the stupidity he had committed within the last 24 hours. Soon he would graduate to more suicidal tendencies if Zim didn't hurry.

“Stop being an idiot and marvel at my amazing disguise.” The irken’s voice called down the stairs.

Dib turned, hesitantly. Given the irken’s past disguises, Dib was expecting something gaudy and awful. Instead, he felt his eyes widen to two times their size and his heart skip several beats in his chest.

Zim was standing at the very top of the stairs, with a huge grin on his smug face. He had no idea why Dib was looking so...shocked but, it was enough to see the expression to make him grin.

Dib felt blood rushing through his ears as he stared, unable to really make any sound at first. Zim was wearing a tight, black dress. It had a high neck and long sleeves and fell to the floor. As the alien walked down the stairs, high slits showed his normal leggings. It was hardly revealing.

But, Zim had curves. Lots of them.

Dib wondered how he’d never noticed the irken’s hips before. How his torso swooped out, how the fabric held tightly to a body that had been covered by loose tunics. It swayed around thick thighs and tightened around his middle where Zim had a tiny chubby stomach.

Other than the dress though, Zim wore the same wig, the same contacts. But, he must’ve gotten a hold of some makeup (probably broke into someone’s room, maybe that’s even where the dress came from, since it was too long and too small for him). He’d painted his lips dark red and smothered his lids with a deep purple.

How had he never noticed that Zim had like...lips before? He was sure he’d have remembered them being so...full and...Dib felt light headed and he realized it was because he had been holding his breath the whole time. He let it out with a soft wheeze.

What the fuck was wrong with him? He blinked and looked away.

Calm down, he said to his heart and lungs and everything inside of him that suddenly decided to wake up, to act like it was on fire.

"Z-Zim…what the hell?" He asked, wincing at how breathless he sounded. The irken stopped beside him, eyeing the human’s blushing face. For some reason, the whole thing just...deeply pleased him.

Dib was hardly ever so flustered. In fact, he couldn’t really think of a time where he’d seen the human’s face get so completely red.

“You are...okay?” He asked hesitantly. Perhaps there was something wrong with the boy.

Dib kept his eyes to the ground, afraid of looking at the irken, afraid of what his body was doing. “U-uh yeah, I’m fine. Let’s just go.”

* * *

 

 Bill raised an eyebrow and glanced back in the rear-view mirror at Dib. "So uh, he dressed in girl clothes…? Why?"

Dib let out a puff of air. “Well, uh for one. Julio likes the ladies so Zim decided to dress up femininely. Secondly, I guess its not like...girls clothes? It’s just a dress. And lastly, um it's Zim. I honestly don’t think he knew or cared about like...what he was ‘supposed’ to wear? Especially since he’s like...not human. And I don’t even know what his gender is...was...or if he had one or cared or...whatever. The point is that, it was part of his plan and yeah.”

The cabbie nodded, eyes wide and decided to just let it go.

Dib looked back out the window. Even after a couple hours had passed, you could still see a faint outline of Vegas’ brilliance. He knew that the drugs had mostly worn off by now.

But, his hands continued to shake, his stomach continued to roll.

The fact of the matter was that, it wasn’t the drugs that made him want to curl up and die.

Each mile that passed, every word that fell from his lips was just a confirmation. Dib pressed a hand to an ache in his chest. He felt so stupid.

“Feel like continuing?” Bill asked, quietly. Dib hesitated before nodding.

"We went into the room where people were dancing and partying. It was dark, lights flashing, the smell of smoke and alcohol heavy in the air…"

* * *

 

 Dib did his best to keep Zim in sight, even as he maneuvered through the crowd of thrashing, writhing bodies.

The tremendous beat of the bass made his teeth rattle, and after almost losing the irken to a swarm of people, a hand shot out to grip Zim's arm.

The teen heard a little squeak come from the Invader. Zim’s voice barely carried over the din.

“Don’t touch me, fool!”

“Then don’t get lost, idiot!” He yelled back.

It was much easier to look at the irken in the darkness. Dib didn’t need to worry about really seeing his hips or lips or legs...

Instead of a retort however, Zim merely gestured. He followed the disguised eyes to find Julio on the other side of the room, hands filled with drinks and he was drooling all over some poor woman, who didn't really seem to mind.

Dib frowned, when he looked at her. He knew she was aesthetically pleasing. Thin, delicate, long flowing hair. And yet, he felt nothing.

Honestly, that was pretty normal for him. Everyday he saw nice looking people. Men and women and people who he wasn’t sure considered themselves to be either.

But, he felt no pull. No attraction. In fact, Dib had begun to wonder if he was capable of such a thing. He’d been fine with the idea that maybe he wasn’t.

But, Dib remembered his heart beating so loud in his chest, an overwhelming...something when he saw the irken walking down those stairs. Was that what attraction was? He looked over at Zim, green skin so vibrant in the neon lights, he was small but curved and full and he was concentrating on his prey, eyes narrowed. He knew that mind was rolling over every possibility.

The possibilities that surrounded him getting those chemicals and taking over the world! Dib reminded himself, frowning hard.

No, this was all stupid. It was just shock and surprise, was all. He didn’t have any kind of ‘feelings’ for his mortal enemy. Even if they were ‘married’ now. He’d get that squared away, once they were out of this town and things were back to normal.

Dib sighed and looked around at all the people as they danced. They were just standing here like idiots. He grabbed the alien’s waist. The Irken screeched and glared, hands raised to smack the boy. Dib ignored how hot his ears felt as he leaned closer to the alien.

“Stop it! We have to act natural! Just dance!” He watched the irken’s realization, watched him scan the others in the room and come to the conclusion that he did NOT want to dance.

“No. I don’t know how to. Plus, it looks stupid.” Sighing, Dib glanced around to see if anyone was staring at them, just standing there.

To his great shock, he noted several people, mostly men who WERE staring at Zim. But, it wasn’t looks of curiosity or confusion. But, of blatant lust. They’d probably also noticed the alien’s hips. How he was so small and like he was just made to be held. They probably noticed his slender neck, his high cheekbones and thick lips. His big eyes. How his skin seemed to reflect all the light.

Dib swallowed and felt a sudden hot sick rage burning in his gut. He didn’t like how people were staring at the irken. Like he was something to eat. He curled his hands into fists and stepped in front of the alien to shield him as best as he could from any disgusting ogling.

"Here…just listen to the beat, and move your hips to it. You'll catch on. Watch everyone else." Dib hoped Zim didn't do EXACTLY what everyone else was doing, since most of it was quite...perverse. And a tiny part of his mind that had never seen the light of day before really, really liked the idea of that.

Dib shoved such thoughts away and watched Zim's eyes narrow, tongue sticking out with such intense concentration, as he danced very awkwardly and unnatural.

It was sort of painful to watch.

The music faded into a new song that he was semi familiar with. The beat was easy and fast. Moving his own body to the music, a idea popped into his head.

Dib kicked out, hoping that Zim caught it.

In the corner of his eye, the Irken noticed the kick, jumping and dodging just in time. He scowled, baring his teeth at the human and wondering what the hell he thought he was doing. The music was too loud, it hurt his antenna under the stupid itchy wig. His temper rose and with that he aimed a quick punch to the human’s face.

Dib grinned victoriously, jumping out of the way. He attempted a back hand to the irken’s stupid face. Zim back stepped, grabbed the human’s wrist and yanked. Dib snapped forward their faces only a few centimeters away.

After only a second of surprise, Dib tried to yank his way free. Zim let him go only to aim for his stomach. The human jumped out of the way, skidding on the waxy floor to get behind his enemy, to gain the advantage.

Zim tried to follow his movements, but was too slow and was grabbed from behind, arms locking around his middle. He growled and elbowed the human in the side, slipping out of his grasp and spinning on his heel.

The irken began to recognize a pattern. It was a simple thing they always fell into when they fought.

 The swift movements, so fast and flowing together easily. The same way their conversations did. Back and forth, no one winning. It was their version of dancing and one they both understood. Ebbing into one another, the twirling confusion of colors all around them.

Zim's breath hitched up into his throat, he smiled when Dib did a brilliant counter attack that he'd learned from yours truly.

Dib realized…he was having fun. People had stepped out of their way, admiring the way they seemed to know each other's next move. As if it was choreographed.

The song came to a close, and Dib laughed, pulling Zim's arm backward to press the alien against him, before trying to throw him to the ground. The alien expected this and claws curled into the boy's tuxedo, keeping him suspended.

Their eyes connected, collided in one moment when it was all too clear.

Their very souls were intertwined, thoughts in sync. Nothing could ever recreate a partnership like they had. Enemies too evenly matched, that the war had become so much about the entertainment that it could be mistaken for a primitive form of dancing.

Dib felt his heart rise up in his throat as he stared down into those eyes. So fake, fake. But, he knew that beneath them, twin rubies were searching him, trying to decipher what was happening. His ears were hot again, he wanted to die. He wanted to lean down and...and...just let this stupid thing he was feeling run its course. Dib wanted...he wanted to just pull Zim to him and...and just...

The room burst, echoing with applause, drunken cheers.

Zim scrambled away from the human. The irken soaked up the attention, bowing at the praise. Dib was tempted to shrink back into the shadows, wishing that the ground would swallow him up.

There was some commotion, a parting of the seas and Julio stepped out from the crowd.

"That was magnificent." Shiny teeth were visible in the black light of the club.

Zim felt his skin crawl. He could feel those beady eyes all over him. But, the irken raised his chin and smirked back.

"Thank you."

Dib already wanted to kill the guy. But, it wasn’t because he hated the way Zim seemed to be accepting the hand offered. Not because he despised when Julio bowed, lips brushing over the alien's wrist.

"Is this your boyfriend?" Julio indicated Dib with a distracted tilt of his chin.

Zim looked over at the man in question, disguised eyes narrowing in on the human. Now would be the time when he could just say no and go get those chemicals himself.

But, that would mean being alone with....this creep.

"He's…my ma-husband." Zim raised the hand, flashing the shiny class ring. Dib's mouth almost dropped with surprise, before he nodded and took a step closer to Zim. The alien wouldn't admit to himself how it made him feel just a little bit less…threatened and grossed out.

"Well," Julio was obviously disappointed but still, his eyes seemed to devour the disguised alien, plans to steal away the prize already rising in his mind. It couldn't be that hard.  "Why don't you two come join me for dinner up in my suite later? I would be honored to have such fine dancers in my company."

Dib wished suddenly that he was anywhere but here, but their goal was so close. What choice did he have?

"Why not now?" Zim said, eyes half lidded, smiling seductively at Julio. Irk, he hoped he was doing this right. If not then the TV Gir forced him to watch was useless.

Dib felt another sick jolt in his stomach. It tasted like anger and bile. Zim’s attention, whether it was fake or not, focused on...on...well, someone other than him. And in such a kind, downright alluring manner...it wasn’t fair and it made him want to shout. To kick and punch and destroy. He wanted to pick the irken up and carry him the fuck out of here and...

No. The chemicals. Enemies. This was stupid. Stupid.

"Yes, why not now?" He heard himself saying.

Julio was pleased, a hand going to Zim's waist. To his hip. "Sounds wonderful. Follow me if you will." He motioned for the two to start edging through the heavy crowd. "Why don't you tell me your names…?"

Dib’s nostrils flared and he forced himself to look away, lest the anger and pain he felt overwhelm his resolve.


	6. Chapter 6

Bill licked his lips, glancing at the road sign that they passed on the right side of the road. Ten miles until Dib's destination was reached. That didn't leave very long to finish this story. And as bad as he felt this would turn out, he wanted Dib to finish it.

"So, you went up to his room?" Sounded like a stupid question to him, but something obviously needed to be said as encouragement to keep the boy going. It worked, because Dib nodded, albeit reluctantly and cleared his throat, as if it pained him.

"Well, we went up, Zim flirting with Julio the entire time, or at least the best version that Zim could do, Kind of cheesy and moronic. Still it was…pretty convincing."

Bill could hear something in Dib’s voice. Jealousy.

"And when we got there, it was a fancy place with a lot of glitzy stuff. A big chandelier, glass trinkets, antiques, and giant TV screens. He offered us drinks, I accepted stupidly since I was already ready to rip the guy's head off. I needed as much as I could to calm down. Zim was casting me looks, almost a glare. I ignored him…there was just something weird in my stomach that kept me from wanting to look at Zim. Why should I look at him? He obviously didn't need my help. Then I started to chug my drink and I felt...fuzzy…"

* * *

 

Dib stumbled forward, almost feeling drunk, which was stupid because it was only one drink. Another step had him knocking over a ceramic vase, which he clumsily saved from a horrible crash to the plush carpet. Lifting his glass again, he was a bit disappointed to find it empty.

Zim watched the pitiful show, sighing in frustration. The Dib, taking drinks from dangerous aliens. What a moron. Now he was probably going to die and Zim would have to save him…as always.

Sniffing in contempt, the disguised Irken turned to Julio with a seductive grin only to have it falter when Julio returned the expression.

"So, tell me, my dear, where DID you learn to dance like that?" Lifting the bottle, he poured them both what Zim knew was Vortian alcohol. The finest in the universe and too easy to get intoxicated off of. The bastard was trying to drug him. Zim took the glass with a little smirk, pretending to sip at it before setting it back on the table.

"Well, me and my uh, husband have been dancing together for about 7 years now…" It was true. Well, not so much dancing as fighting but still.

"Is that so? And how did you two meet?" Julio's eyes flew to said husband, who was leaning against the wall drunkenly. He raised an eyebrow. Seemed he had downed it in a few seconds. Now that the human was out for the count…the opportunity to steal the delicious prize before him presented itself.

"We went to skool together and uh, in high skool we started our courting and have been in lurve ever since." It was much too easy to create this story. As if it had been forming in his brain for a while. But, that would make sense. There had to be a good story to make it convincing.

Zim frowned when he too glanced at Dib. Moron was practically drooling, fiddling with a clay elephant on a shelf. He looked miserable.

Turning back to Julio, Zim decided to make his move. With a giant sighing swoon, Zim flopped on top of the man, laying all over him. Ick.

"My dear?" The rich man/alien, ran a hand through the irken's fake hair. Zim really hoped it didn’t fall off. "You're beautiful."

Dib's eyes went from the stupid animal thing he was holding, to the sight on the couch. Fucking irken with his stupid acting skills and the plan…which was?

The Chemicals. Which Zim was going to use to take over the world.

Why did he suddenly not care as much about saving the world as he did getting that sleazeball off of Zim?

"Uh-huh. Whatev-I mean, I know. Th-thanks." It was hard to say that last part, but he managed it as his hands roamed along the seams of Julio's suit, searching for the vials…come on, come on. It had to be here somewhere, if not here then in the rest of the apartment. But, such an important thing would most likely be on his body.

Bile was rising in his throat. Julio smelled like too much perfume and fake skin. The other ran lips against the green skin nearest him. Zim's neck. It caused the Irken to jerk, and his left eye to twitch as the odd and nauseating sensation. Being touched this way, caused a really creepy feeling to fill his spooch. Hatred ran rampant, as well as….as well as…an odd empty and nervous sensation? Guilt?

That almost had him pausing his search. Guilt for what?

A flash of gold eyes and thick, black hair swept through his mind. Of that night when they’d gotten drunk and married. Of Dib leaning into his space and whispering stupid words at him, laughing and looking so stupid and carefree.

No. No. Searching. Chemicals. Ruling the world.

Finally, his hand curled around a glass tube and he pulled backwards with a large, obnoxious laugh. Yes! He lifted it to his face, to get a glimpse of his prize only to recoil in shock. This was…not it at all. This was wrong. It wasn't red and luminescent like the blueprints had shown. This was filled with glitter and sequins. His forehead furrowed as Zim looked up at the suddenly grim faced alien.

"How disappointing." Julio whispered, changing his form from the large human to his real form; long arms the color purple and long, grimy tentacles, sprouted ten eyes and a gaping mouth. The knife like teeth shone in the dim lights."And here I thought irkens were masters of disguise."

Dib's eyes widened as he took in the monstrous creature, trying to ignore the insane relief he felt when Zim was on the floor and away from Julio. So, instead, he wished he had a camera. Mysterious mysteries would love this. Zim growled and threw the fake vile across the room where it shattered and broke.

"You knew?"

"No. I just placed that there to ward out the ones who wanted the chemicals. And as I've done to everyone who's tried before you…" The Irken, raised his chin, ready for the worst. "I'm going to give it to you."

"NOOOOOOOOO—Wait. What? You're just going to give it to me?" This was an odd turn of events. But, pleasant nevertheless.

"Indeed I am." The alien’s evil smirk, with the large, dripping teeth should've been a sign of ominous intentions. But, Zim stood up and held his hands out in a 'gimme' motion. The monster's tentacles, swooped out and grabbed the hidden tubes all across the room, brandishing them threateningly before one wrapped around the Invader's neck, cutting off Zim's air. Said Irken gasped with the sudden movements that were too quick for him to keep up with.

"Wha-Ah!" Shaking with confusion, maroon eyes watched as Julio laughed gleefully, before he deftly pried open the irken’s pak and poured a vial into the confines.

Immediately, the irken's entire body went numb as the sudden burst of electricity and information flooded his system. Too…much.

In a spastic jerk, Zim gurgled and a thousand memories began to flow through his mind a torrent of emotions; Being hatched, explosion after explosion, the academy, death, all a blur…then came his mission.

Earth. And that meant Dib.

Big amber eyes that seemed to reflect his disappointments and anger, their hatred kept him alive, the glasses their portal, hair so soft and annoying as it stood straight up, Dib with his crazy insights, Dib's ranting about paranormal activity, Dib and the day they fought and they both nearly died, his father, the pain and blood…Dib and the chapel,…the class ring he was still wearing…Dib.

BODY SYSTEMS: SHUTTING DOWN

MENTAL SYSTEMS: SHUTTING DOWN

PAK SYSTEMS: ATTEMPTING START UP….

FAILURE…

ATTEMPTING START UP…

KNOWLEDGE REQUIRED…

////8963638QWB===NFJSN//// LARGE FILE…

PAK SYSTEMS: FAILURE.

SHUTTING DOWN…

Dib cried out with alarm, knocking over the table he was standing next to in his haste to get to Zim. That table, knocked down a shelf, which knocked down another and before long glass rained down on them.

With a drunken yell of rage, Dib swung out at the creepy alien, putting all his force into his arm….only to be swatted away like a pesky fly.

The tentacles were slimy and left a large slick of it down the front of his tuxedo. He would have time to be grossed out about that later he decided.

"I don't have time for your nonsense. Why don't you mourn over this," Julio gestured to the shaking Irken, who was whispering nonsense, eyes large and blank, "While I leave before you start crying or something else equally as pitiful?"

The thing dropped Zim, who landed on the floor with a dull, sickening thud and never ceased in his maddening rambling, his shaking. Julio began turning to slither away, the ten eyes roving about in exaggerated mocking.

Dib bared his teeth, hands blindly reaching for something, anything…before they wrapped around what looked to be an antique sword in the rubble of glass.

This time the human didn't yell to announce his attack as he scrambled up and charged, bringing the blade down on top of the alien as hard as he could with all the rage, and hate. A splatter of blackish goo shot up out of the wound he had created, sizzling a bit on any skin it hit.

It didn't stop Dib from doing it again and again and again as the thing screamed in agony, cursing in its native language, tentacles flailing as it tried to wrap around any limb, but it's grip was too weak from the spectacular blood loss and panic.

Chunks of flesh and hissing blood flew, and even after Julio was dead, Dib kept at it only dropping the sword when his arms grew numb from exhaustion.

With a clatter it fell into the glass, and the human turned on shaky legs to stumble to Zim.

"Z-Zim?" Kicking stuff out of the way, Dib dropped to his knees and lifted the alien into his arms. He turned the alien over, examining the pak, a smoking mess. Dib desperately tried to siphon any of the chemical out. He carefully, scooped out the red liquid, using his bare hands, with little success. All he got was harsh chemical burns on his skin. He didn’t care.

"Tallest…6848…Irk…90…elargon...Earth…the moon…M-Monies…748438…the mass of titanium…hellion…"

The information, the words and knowledge…past, present, future. So much. It just kept coming.

"Zim! ZIM! Stop this! You're freaking out on me, damn it. Don't do this. F-fight me. You’ve got to fight me."

Whimpering, Dib clumsily wiped away a speck of black from Zim's forehead. This hurt too much. Too much pain, seeing those large eyes so blank. Voice so far away. Hearing that…Dib.

"Jilkon…Gir…Skool…983..the h-human…Dib." Something familiar. The visions of his face in Zim's mind so welcome.

AUTHORIZATION RECOGNIZED; DIB.

VOICE COMMAND SWITCHED; EMERGENCY DRIVES IN PLACE.

Suddenly, whatever little control Zim had over his own mouth was gone, and the pak took over. It knew this was their last chance for survival. The voice that came out was Zim's but it sounded more robotic, layered with cold, hard metal.

"Information Overload. Situation: Out of Control. Authorized: DIb. Send out an SOS."

Dib's body jerked with the sound of the new voice, his heart flying into his throat when he heard his name even if it was in that weird way.

"I-I…what? Zim! St-stay with me."

"SOS. DIB…Dib!" Zim was panting, trying to hold onto this one second, to keep a hold on his body and mind.

Dib lifted the alien's chin, knocking the wig off and holding the irken's face to look into the disguised eyes.

Something tickled down his cheek and it was warm. Instinctively he knew it was tears, but the stubborn ass inside him would never admit crying over his enemy. Even if that enemy was now his husband.

"Y-yes. SOS, Zim. Just stay with me, okay? You’ve got so much to do. You’ve got to take over the world, right? You’ve got to destroy me. You...you’ve got stay and fight me. I-I need you to stay."

Zim lifted a weak hand and placed it against the human's face in return, in too much pain to even consider being prideful, to think about hiding and denying his feelings in that moment.

“S-sorry.”  Zim went limp, his Pak shutting down for good with a final ominous _–click-._


	7. Chapter 7

The inside of the cab was silent.

A dull thrumming as the wheels turned over rough pavement.

"An SOS? Like a boat?"

Dib frowned, as he finally noticed the pink specks of Zim's blood on his jacket. Not to mention that stickiness of his own and Julio's blood. Gold eyes shot up to the driver and he swallowed.

"No. I-It's not a traditional SOS. It's in Irken." Pale violet lids fluttered shut as he fought to pronounce it correctly. "Silvit Ore Sonhule."

The words rolled off his tongue, not without a struggle though. Irken vocal chords and tongues made it seem effortless.

Bill nodded, brow furrowed. Somewhere back in his brain he recognized that this whole ordeal could've easily been a prank; it could've been a coma induced hallucination.

"What does it mean?"

A hand ran through his inky black hair. "Well, there's something you have to understand. With them, words have so many meanings that it's impossible to really pin one down. But, this was used back in the days when Pak's didn't have aerial codes that sent back to their planet, when an Irken…died." He choked out the word, still unable to quite accept it.

"But, it means in roughly translated English, A Call Home."

Bill pulled up to where Dib had told him to over four hours ago. He tilted his head to the side, wondering if there had been a mistake. It was basically in the middle of nowhere. Nearby there was a large radio tower. But,nothing else around for miles.

"Ummm…are you sure this is the place?" The teen was already unbuckling his seat belt.

"Positive."

A hand dug inside his coat and pulled out his wallet, his thumb dipped inside and came out with a fifty. "Will this cover it?"

The cabbie recoiled. "No. It's free, okay? Just…do you want me to wait until you're done? It'll be hard to catch another ride out here."

Dib smiled softly, although it was a bit bitter. A hand rested on the door handle.

"Thanks. But, it's fine. I'll figure it out." With that he pushed the door open and hopped out into the night.

Bill wondered idly if he should wait anyway. But, he put his hand down over the break and backed up along the nearly just dirt road and began to turn back to Vegas.

With a last wave to Dib, who he would probably never see again, he was off.

Dib watched the yellow car get smaller and small, before digging into his bag and pulling out his laptop. He sat down next to the radio tower. It took minimal effort to get into the tower’s main communication channel. It was the largest around for hundreds of miles. It was his only chance.

Luckily, his computer was also pretty amazing, built by Membrane and kept updated by Dib himself. It would be enough.

Dib set up a connection to the Tallest’s private line. They needed to know that one of their Invaders was dead. Even if it came from someone like him.

Zim's Pak had been too heavily damaged to send it out itself and it had authorized him to do it. He would not fail him.

* * *

 

 A cigarette was lit now, puffed away quicker than normal as Bill stared out the window shield with barely a blink. He felt kind of cold inside, as if something had been removed from him after Dib's tale.

Flicking the ashes out the window, he glanced in the backseat to where the kid had been sitting.

Damn it. This was stupid.

With a harsh sigh he returned his focus to the road.

A figure was standing in the center of the street and Bill jerked the steering wheel, his foot going down on the breaks instinctively to avoid hitting whoever was stupid enough to stand in the middle of the road this late at night when people weren't paying attention.

After a series of harsh bumps, the car came to squeaky stop on the side of the road, Bill's hands still glued to the steering wheel.

A sharp – _tap tap_ \- sound came from his window. Rolling down the window, he gaped at the person who stood before him, recognition slapping him across the face.

"That is how you hail a cab, yes?"


	8. Chapter 8

Dib shuddered, trying to ignore his emotions and failing.

While in the car, spilling his guts out to a stranger, Dib finally noticed something that had been building for most of his life. Everything made so much more sense now that he'd said it out loud. Every syllable had sunk into his brain as he'd sat in that backseat, repeating over and over.

Zim had been his enemy, the person he was closest to and perhaps it had formed into more of a convoluted companionship. Nothing had changed when they'd married. Not that he'd had much time to get used to it, but it had felt normal. Except for when he’d seen the irken,noticed him in a way that Dib never had before. How it had made his heart beat way too fast.

Then there was the dance floor. A messy version of dancing but it was all they knew and it was comfortable. He just remembered looking down into the widened fake irises, wishing the contacts were gone. Feeling the most peculiar heat, connect them. It was adrenaline. It was excitement. It was a fine line of hatred and...something more that he wasn’t sure he could admit.

Then that…squid bastard had stepped in, ruined everything. And Dib had been jealous. He'd never felt it before. Never. Even as a child there was no feeling of possession for toys or people. It was ridiculous to think that now would be the time to start.

But, the second beady eyes roved over Zim's form, Dib had been beside himself with the overwhelming urge to just gather the irken to him and take him far, far away.

Then Zim had been dying. Dib flinched, fingers slipping a bit over the keys. Dying, whispering words made of nonsense, bleeding. And instead of feeling happy, of victory and joy as he might've once upon a very long time; Dib had only wanted to take it all away. Rid Zim of the pain, stop the inevitable demise.

Tears had blurred his vision, heart plummeting to his feet when the alien had taken his last few breaths, spoke his final words. And when he was dead, Dib had sobbed, something he had never done before. Ever. It had taken him a good hour to pull himself together. He’d carried Zim to their room and laid him on the bed, covered him with the blankets, gathered everything he would need and made sure to leave a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door. He would return for Zim. Dib would do something for the irken. He doubted that his people had funerals. But, Zim deserved one.

The overwhelming pain in his chest was evidence enough that there was no hatred for Zim left in his body. Wiping a sleeved arm across his pale face, Dib sniffled rather pitifully.

* * *

 

 Damaged and going faster than it had ever gone before, the cab made complaining noises as its owner pressed down on the gas, in response to the palpable tension radiating from the pers-ma-alien in his back seat. Well, it could've been that or the fact that said alien was screeching with obvious irritation.

"Does this primitive vehicle not go any faster?!" "Do you even know how to drive?!" "Speed up! Speed up!"

Bill gulped in panic as he swerved on the road, in response to the latest demeaning jab at his driving. It was really hard to believe that this was the person that Dib had spoken so fondly of. This uh…person seemed much more like a crazed maniac rather than a misunderstood genius. But, it was unmistakable.

The drenched wet dress that Dib had described in detail, the messy wig, nose-less face. Plus, the fact that if Bill even opened his mouth to respond, his passenger would shout, "I AM ZIM!" at a volume that reminded him increasingly of a smoke detector. He whimpered when the alien smacked the back of the head rest with overeager energy, practically growling with impatience.

It didn't seem as if he'd died. But, then the large amount of dried pink liquid stained his dress and was smeared on pale jade cheeks as if someone had caressed his face and accidentally had some of the blood on his fingers.

The alien wasn't shouting anything at him right now, only touching the seat on the other side of the car, eyes glued to the area. Could he sense that the teenager had sat there only a while ago?

"Uh…an SOS." The alien's head shot up to stare at the man in the mirror, eyes quickly narrowing and Bill regretted his choice of words. "I-I mean…Dib—you. That's what he wanted to do. Why I drove him."

Zim's eyes only narrowed more, practically slits. "I know, Cab-Drone. I told him to. How much did the Dib tell you?" He asked suspiciously, claws digging into the seat. Bill cleared his throat, eyes darting away from the mirror to look back out the window at the road.

"Everything." A warning bell went off in his head immediately after he said it. Not smart to tell the alien you know who and what he is. "I-I mean-What I meant was—"

"Silence!" Zim barked, teeth barred maliciously. "I should've known the stupid boy would do this…" Hazel eyes looked back in the mirror nervously, and although he was a bit frightened for his own well being, there was surprise as well.

Zim's own expression seemed to soften, even if only fractionally when he said, 'stupid boy'. But, then the anger was back. The urgency renewed.

"Stop watching me and drive, cabbie! DRIVE!" The man nodded quickly, pressing ever harder on the pedal, tires eating away at the distance between the two of them.


	9. Chapter 9

Dib straightened himself up; instinctively knowing he looked awful. A shaky hand ran itself through tangled dark locks. Contacting powerful leaders and looking like road kill was about as humiliating as it got. But, he knew it didn't really matter.

"For Zim." Dib whispered, frowning down at the screen, as it splashed bleaching blue color on his already pale skin.

The loading bar reached 100 and with a final ominous beep he was shown the Tallest's control room where the two leaders sat, chins lifted, dressed in heavy armor as if awaiting an attack at any second. Even while eating noisily they managed to be extremely intimidating.

Twin pairs of eyes, each a different color but with the same intensity roved over what they could see on their giant screen, obviously dismissing it as unimportant even before speaking.

"What do you want? And how did you get this transmission code?" The Red one spoke first.

"Yeah." The other added, sounding irritated, but it was hard to tell over the sound of chewing.

Dib straightened himself up, blinking a few times to clear his vision. "I am Dib Membrane of Earth. The only reason I have called you is for one of your soldiers. He is…dead." His voice cracked with the word.

The leaders seemed confused.The two shared a look. "Soldier? Do you mean, Zim?" Red asked slowly. One, because this inferior being might not understand him otherwise and two, because he was afraid to hope.

Dib nodded, grimly.

Silence.

Purple suddenly threw his doughnuts up in the air, wooing for joy. "Quick, someone!" He snapped his two fingers. "Break out the Vortian alcohol! You, sound the alarms! Tell everyone the good news! We need the loudest music you can find! We're gonna party till the Jaloksnaufs come home!"

Red grinned and lifted his co-ruler's chin. "Finally, Pur! We can put all those decorations to good use!"

The two of them jumped up from their thrones and ran out giggling. The transmission cut off with a loud buzzing noise, followed by static.

It reflected off of Dib's glasses. Dib who sat frozen, still staring at the screen in disbelief. Dib who was suddenly breathing incredibly hard and Dib who was shaking violently, lifting the laptop and throwing it as hard as he could. It did nothing but tumble down the hill and sit there uselessly.

He put his face into his hands and fought back the urge to sob. He didn't do very well.

Dib bit down on his bottom lip, feeling worthless and ridiculous. He was filled with such a hatred for Zim’s leaders. For acting like this was something to celebrate. Sniffing hard, he shuddered and after much deliberation decided it was time to go. Time to stand up and keep going as he had always done before.

It wouldn't be the same without Zim…but he would worry about that when he was back home. After he’d done everything he could to make things alright.

Nodding to himself, almost comfortingly, Dib stood and opened his eyes.

Standing across from him in the shine of the cab’s headlights, was the irken.

He looked like a disaster. Dress torn, wig and contacts thrown into the dust. Dib’s heart had stopped beating and he realized that Zim had also never looked more stunning. Zim's arms were crossed as he grinned at the human, lightly pink teeth shining deviously.

"Hello, Stink-Brain." Dib's mouth fell open as he took in the Irken's lithe form, the cab behind him whose door was ajar. Bill waved from inside awkwardly.

"Zim?" Could this be a dream? A hallucination? It could be, he thought. But, even if it was…

Dib began running toward the alien, he wasn't stopping.

As the human barreled toward him, Zim made a face, feeling a hint of alarm take a hold of him at the desperate expression on the other's face. Still he made no move to jump out of way. Dib scooped Zim up and held the alien to his chest. Almost too tight. They both felt something right click into place.

But, the Irken squeaked at the hard, almost suffocating hold and frowned. "Okay, okay. You had your joyous reunion of filth. Now let me go!" He demanded. Dib let the alien go.

"I'll have you know, Monkey-Face, that I have driven fifty miles in that," A hand waved at the cab, "horrible contraption with the driver drone! Just to get here. Feel honored, Dib-Stink cause it's a miracle that the Zim is alive at all! My Pak restarted. But barely! Horrible. Do you know how hard it's going to be to repair all of this, to fix this mess we’ve gotten ourselves int--”

Dib yanked the irken to him and pressed their lips together, clumsily. Too hard, too fast. But, he was desperate and his chest ached with such intense emotions. He wanted to fall to his knees, he was so relieved the irken was standing here, alive. He felt that pull in his stomach again, the thing he knew was attraction.

The Irken's eyes went wide. The thought entered his mind that he should push the child away and maybe kick him for good measure. Then he felt the human nibble at his bottom lip and all thoughts of pulling away ceased.

Zim felt a gross, horrible twitch in the center of his squeedely spooch. A spasm really. It infused his cold body with warmth, driving away the pain of death and the fear he'd never admit to feeling. The panic to catch the human before he left Vegas and him, behind. He didn’t truly understand it. But, he hesitantly pressed back into the embrace.

Dib moaned into the kiss, sliding his other hand down Zim's body until he reached the other's claws, intertwining their fingers. He could feel the class ring. Still there.

Zim's hand tightened around the warm digits of his human and he finally felt his eyes flutter shut.

This was stupid. Stupid…but nice. Maybe…they would do this more often.

Bill ran a hand through his hair, slumping back in the seat of his car, and closing his eyes. It had been a long night. Guess he better wait until they were done…uh, doing whatever it was they were doing.

They would need a ride.


	10. Chapter 10

_Four Years Later…_

Bill kept looking in the rear view mirror at his passenger, eyebrows furrowed in a silent question. This particular customer looked so familiar.

"3655 South , Las Vegas Boulevard, Mon Ami Gabi, Please."

"Um…right away." Bill replied, kicking into gear and taking off to one of the most romantic restaurant in Vegas. For a little while it was quiet, too quiet and a quick check revealed that Dib was looking out the window at all the wonderful lights, the reflections in his glasses. Not broken this time.

"So…uh, planning on fighting any aliens anytime soon?" Bill asked, nonchalantly. Dib's head shot up. For a single second there was fear and almost rage before it cleared when he look in the rear view mirror at the driver. It changed instantly into a huge grin that ate up the kid's entire face.

"Bill! Oh wow! What's the odds?" Immediately, Dib was practically bouncing with over excited energy. Bill chuckled softly, the yellowing teeth still there but not as bad. He'd quit smoking almost a year ago.

"Very small. How are ya, kid?"

"Great. Holy crap, I'm great." Dib shook his head in awe. "What about you?"

Bill stopped when the light turned red, like any good driver. "Good. Good. Still a taxi driver obviously." A hand motioned to the steering wheel and Vegas in general. "Stopped smoking." Another grin. "But I'm more interested in you. Still with Zim? That was his name right?" 

Dib nodded with a small smile. "Yep.” A hand went through the little privacy window to show Bill the ring still on his finger. "Almost five years now. Of course he's still an asshole." The hand retracted after the driver had admired it properly.

Bill laughed a little. Even if he'd only met Zim for fifteen minutes, it had been enough to convince him that the kid was right about that. "That's wonderful. Going to meet him now?" 

"Yep. Of course he picked the most expensive restaurant in the entire city." The man shook his head in a kind of 'can't live with him, can't live without him' kind of way. 

"And what about the SOS, thingy? How'd that get sorted out?"

Dib raised a black eyebrow at how much Bill remembered. "Okay I guess. They still think he's dead or at least are trying to convince themselves of that. Zim’s tried to contact them a couple times. But, they keep blocking him." A shrug. “I try to keep him busy.” 

Bill smiled, turning into the parking lot where the restaurant was waiting with fancy décor and lots of flowers. "Well, this is your stop…It was great seeing you again."

Dib nodded, smirking. "Here," The hand again this time with a business card in between long, spindly fingers. "Take it. Call us sometime."

Bill took it and looked at the dark blue eyeball on the front along with Dib's name. Bill was impressed even if he had no idea what it was. It looked important.

"Sure thing. Tell Zim I said hi."

"Will do." Said Dib, climbing out, lightly squeaking along the seats.

"Oh and hey," Bill called out of the window at the kid. "Don't let him treat ya too bad yanno. Be happy."

Dib turned around at the door and smiled softly, hands in his pockets. "I'll be fine. I love that lunatic even if he's a real pain sometimes. Besides…it's my own fault."

The teenager turned man turned to walk inside the posh building with a final call over his shoulder, "He's what I get for waking up in Vegas."


End file.
